Dear Son, Be Kind

Now that you are a month old, we are beginning to see you take in the world around you. You, like me, are a stare-er. You enjoy staring off into the distance or toward an object giving off light. There is nothing wrong with that, though some people find it creepy, trust me they’ve told me so . It just means you are beginning to formulate thoughts and discover new things. That’s beautiful.

There is a lot of beauty in this world, son. It takes many shapes, colors, smells, textures, complexities, and even simplicities to make something beautiful. As you are discovering you will note that things aren’t always the same. Especially when it comes to us human beings.

For some reason along the way us human beings wanted things to be the same. We got comfortable with things being uniform, though I’m not exactly sure why. Though we still appreciated beauty in it’s many forms, we wanted a lot of those things to be uniform as well. I discovered something a while ago with the help of the writings of someone I looked up to immensely. His name was Mike Yaconelli, he wrote a book called “Messy Spirituality” along with many others. Something I discovered while reading that is, Beauty is messy. We’ll talk about this more fully in another letter, but this sets up what I wanted to discuss with you.

In life, son, you will come across many different people. There is beauty in all of them, but that beauty is messy. Something your Nana K always used to try to get me to understand is that everyone is going through something. Everyone has their own mountains to climb. Often times that struggle takes a lot from them. Even if they climbed that mountain a long time ago they may still carry the bruises and scars from the struggle. It’s part of what makes them beautiful, but fragile at the same time.

Here is something that may be controversial. You were born a quarter Mexican male with very white looking skin. People will often say things like what does that have to do with anything, but will secretly place qualifiers on those things and more. Because you look the way you do and you were born a certain gender it is going to afford you a lot more opportunity than most. People want to say this isn’t so, but in my experience it very much is. I think the reason this happens is because we as human beings want to make things uniform, and comfortable to us.

I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad, no! I’m telling you this because I want you to understand that your life and struggles will be different from other peoples. I tell you this because I want you to understand why it is important to be kind, to everyone. By being kind you allow the beauty that was always there in someone shine through. You allow them to embrace their own humanity, while you embrace yours. It’s not because you are better than someone, no. It’s because you, like them, are going through something. One of the biggest tenants (Not that one) of our faith is something Jesus taught us, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” I believe the reason for that is within all of this rambling that I’m giving to you. All people are beautiful. That beauty is messy. Messy is uncomfortable.Beauty is in the differences.

I hope this makes sense to you. I’m writing this when I’m severely sleep deprived. You will understand one day…

Love,

Your dad

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